About
Why do you do what you do?
AND OTHER FAQ
As a therapist, I'm most inspired when clients grasp, in their bones, that they are and always were good. That their needs matter and are worth putting on life's table. That it's okay to have limits, fall short on the endless societal "should," and put their health and sustainability first.
The moment they leave my office, equipped to listen to their inner compass, empowered to follow its direction, and ready to embrace every aspect of themselves with compassion—even those younger, more vulnerable parts that could lead them off path—that's the transformative journey I'm privileged to witness.
But what you really want to know…
WHO DO YOU HELP?
I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist. Using Client-Centered therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Nonviolent Communication, and spiritually-rooted therapy, I help new moms and women recover their sense of power, voice, and self-trust – in parenting, intimate relationships, and in offering their gifts to this world.
I help couples break free of blame and resentment and self-responsibly communicate to be the honest, loving, vulnerable, and compassionate partners they once were with each other (and deserve to be again).
ARE YOU NICE? ARE YOU RELATABLE?
Yes, and heck, yes!
My clients often describe me as grounded, calm, and collected but with fiery undertones. Especially when it comes to the difficulties of parenting, relationships, and existing on earth in 2023, I tell it like it is. Life is too short to beat around the bush.
Oh, and I cuss… a lot. And you can too! I want my clients to be comfortable expressing themselves during sessions in a way that feels most authentic to them and their experiences. So feel free to just go ahead and drop those f*** bombs. You’re in good company.
DO YOU GET THE “HELL REALM” OF PARENTHOOD?
Boy, do I. The constant pressure to “get it right,” the exhaustion, the big emotions postpartum, and how unfair it is to have to be the most “on” when you feel the most “off.”
And then, when you're down on your knees, exhausted and overwhelmed and changing the 30 millionth diaper of the day, you think, "I'm a failure for not smiling and loving it and feeling happy as a clam, all the damn time."
HOW DID IT CHANGE YOU?
My first two years as a new mom taught me that birth was its own death – the death of the capable, empowered, even-tempered, energetic woman I was. I openly mourned the cultural and systemic loss of the village I needed to hold me and my daughter.
Granting myself compassion for the new challenge and permission to feel allowed me to catch my breath, find my feet, and get clarity from which I could finally verbalize my needs and requests. I became the best damn mom I could be, modeling for my daughter the kind of strength, self-respect, and kindness I want for her at the core of her being.
PARENTING - COOL. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US?
As a (formerly) young woman moving into the blessed middle age, I get the struggles of self-doubt, people pleasing, unfulfilling romantic relationships, and not trusting myself.
Through my years of training in Nonviolent Communication and my own poop-ton of therapy, I've learned to become my own best friend, to have my back, and listen to my inner compass that whispers which way to travel.
These are what I am most passionate about supporting you in cultivating. I want my college-aged clients questioning their relationships, wondering if they've chosen the right major, doubting the beauty of their bodies, to get their self-trust back.
I want my middle-aged clients, burdened with over-commitment, stuck in careers that no longer bring a glimmer to their eye, and struggling to make changes in relationships that have been teetering on the edge for years, to strengthen their rivulets of self-trust into wild, free, raging rivers.
What Do You Believe?
HAVING THE LANGUAGE TO COMMUNICATE OUR NEEDS, WANTS, AND DESIRES MATTERS.
Feeling disempowered in relationships is often an unconscious habit, and one we can change. We become empowered to speak up for ourselves, and also empowered to connect with others (even when they’re acting like a jerk) through practice, and that life-changing practice can happen in therapy.
WE ARE INFLUENCED BY OUR ANCESTORS.
At times the challenges we bring to therapy have roots deep in time and history. We aren’t born blank slates, but rather we inherit — genetically, energetically, and through our lived conditioning — both the gifts and the challenges of our ancestors. Whether we ever knew them or not, we have the capacity to both receive our ancestors’ blessings, and to give back what they never intended to pass down. In the process, we bring healing to our entire lineage.
WE ARE HERE FOR A LARGER PURPOSE.
Part of wellness is staying connected to our purpose, whether it’s serving others or stewarding the earth or making art or music or just smiling at folks in our own quirky way. I believe that coming back to why we are here (on earth, not just in therapy) is essential to our healing, our growth, and our capacity to stay centered amidst life’s waves.
SOCIETAL NORMS AND SYSTEMS OF PRIVILEGE AND OPPRESSION DEEPLY IMPACT US.
We become empowered by coming to see the air we breathe and sense the waters we swim in, by remembering we are not broken, but were born into a broken world. We are each impacted by norms and expectations in the realms of gender, sexuality, wealth, race, ethnicity, able-bodied-ness, age, religion, and spirituality, to name just a few. Whether we benefit from or we are inhibited by the dominant norm in each of these areas, being able to see and name its role in our lives helps us untangle our struggles and live our spirits more fully.
IS IT TRUE YOU USED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL SALSA DANCER?
Semi-professional. But yes! Once upon a time, I used to perform salsa at night clubs with a troupe in San Francisco, CA. (It was run by the famed Joby and Luis Vasquez, for the salsaholics among you.) I love Latin dance — and most of the dances of the African diaspora we’re privileged enough to get to know in the US — and getting down to the sound of the clave was as exhilarating as it was exhausting.
Ultimately, I quit in order to go to law school.
As, well, once upon another time, I was an attorney. I was always passionate about addressing the effed up inequities in our society, particularly immigrants, and lawyering seemed like a good way to make real and lasting changes on behalf of those among us who are the most impacted by law and policy but typically given the least power and voice.
But in the end, I would cry while taking depositions, and get in trouble with my supervisor for making friends with opposing counsel, as I just couldn’t bring myself to want to nail the “bad guy.”
Therapy is, and always was, the healing path I most cut out for. One where I get to openly love and care for my clients, and give a damn about their lives.
Training & Experience
Somatic Healing and Regulation Strategies with Linda Thai, currently enrolled 2023
Somatic Integration and Processing I Training, Beyond Healing Institute 2022
Internal Family Systems Level 1 Training, IFS Insitute 2021
Certified Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Trainer 2021 (student since 2005)
MA in Marriage & Family Therapy 2019
Ancestral Healing Training, Dr. Daniel Foor 2009
Certificate in Hakomi Mindfulness Therapy, Comprehensive Training, Hakomi Institute 2016
Interchange Counseling Institute, Certificate of Completion 2013
Former lawyer (once upon a time) in California
